A little bit emo.
I never really got into being a blogger, I have tried but failed for a number of reasons. Sometimes I have nothing to say, sometimes I have loads to say (too much maybe) and sometimes my insecurities get the better of me and I think "yeah, but who cares". Of course this doesn't make for being a consistent blogger. However, when I was running this morning I realised that I did want to say something again, and I guess on this "blog" was the place to do it.
On the 14th of May, shortly before the Edinburgh marathon I posted this photo to my Instagram feed.
At the time I was feeling pretty emotional as I posted it as I remembered how crappy I had previously felt at this point on another training run for Loch Ness. I was feeling emotional, but good. I felt like I had overcome some mental block.
Despite this post and the feeling of accomplishment I had had that day, I still avoided running this route. It still made me sad.
Today I ran it again though, my goal was to run to this point, 2 miles from my house and either run on to do my 5 mile loop, or head back and just do 4. I did it because I am fed up of this point always being an issue, a block to what I can do. There are so many things standing in our way if we let them.
So here I am feeling victorious. Well, an arty shot of me and my dog (because that's the best I was going to get), and a close up of my face (again, see above, the best I could get).
This wasn't the best run in the world. It was just a run, this isn't the spot that makes me stop and cry and question my entire purpose anymore. It is just a place 2miles from my home.
I didn't run like a gazelle to get here (I have never run like that in my life). I didn't take the hills in an graceful stride. I'm still not 100% after being ill, and I drank far too much coffee before my run so I had heart burn. My dog was getting wound up by every other dog we met and it was annoying. I had to run/walk at some points, and I am sure those who drove past me thought I was just starting an exercise regime (that's cool though, they may think what they like). None of this mattered, the goal was to get over it. I did, it didn't matter how.
So, I guess what I want to say, is that don't let small things take over. 2016 has been a crapper for many, many reason but it has had some great things happen too. Only one more day to go and we will have made it through, don't let the bad things hold you back.